someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
