dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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