Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
