im holly from the hills drunk
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
