Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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