Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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