took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
