Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
