ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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