Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
i think i just lost a toe
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
