I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
