margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
