In America we eat man semen.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
