My pussy is not your playground.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
