Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
