I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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