Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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