Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
