Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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