Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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