i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
