Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
