I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
