If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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