that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
