piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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