Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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