wrigley field is MILF paradise
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
