Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she smelled like a LAN party
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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