i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
