Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I CAN MOONWALK!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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