what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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