Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
