For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
