You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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