Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
