yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
