I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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