Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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