we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
