Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
