Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Randomize
