speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
