I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
