I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
