Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
