filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
