She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
