Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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