So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize