I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
