Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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